Late nights...long nights.

I don't know if it is the pregnancy horomones or jitters or just the very fast approach of her birth but I have not been able to sleep more than a few hours at a time a night lately. Thoughts run through my head at warp speed

sleep by 12

wake up at 2 to go pee

2:05 lay down and attempt to fall asleep as penny is throwing what I can only imagiane is a dance party in my ute

2:15 did I wash the dishes? ugh no...shit d needs a clean coffee cup in the morning...

2:16 get up to wash out 2 coffee mugs

3:00 lay back down after washing all the dishes dusting the living room mopping the kitchen floor and scrubbing down the stove and wall with comet and bleach.

3:02 She sure is moving around a lot tonight is this her way of telling me she is going to be a night owl? or is this god allowing me to have every moment possible with her like he did with the other 2...

3:03 begins to cry as quietly as possible of my two lost little ones and wonder what they would have looked like and how am i going to one day explain to penny she has two older brothers in heaven named Paxton and Drake.

3:10 watches david sleep...when he is awake he is all man...alll sexy sexy man...but asleep...he looks like a little boy. I can tell he is having good dreams because he is smiling and every once-in-a-while he will giggle softly.

3:30 Hungery and thirsty now

4:00 D's alarm goes off in a half hour for work...time to try and get some sort of sleep even if it is only for an hour and a half...I know when he leaves I will be up for the day...can't sleep when he isn't there.

4:30...coffee maker isn't set...SHIT!

5:00 Penny isn't moving anymore...time for sleep

5:30 BEEP BEEP BEEP! (grumble grumble ugh stupid technology...alarm clocks were made by the devil!)

5:45 D an i are enjoying the snooze button and hoping that by staying hidden under the blanket that maybe no one will notice our absence from the world today...

5:46 I have to pee again...no rest for the wicked...


So I have been up since 2 am and david left at 6. the house (apt) is clean dinner is prepared for tonight...This is why I can't wait for us to get a house..It takes all of 4 hours to deep clean our apt and when you do it once a week...even less. A house would take the better part of the day plus I will have penny. I love that I will be a stay at home mommy...but honestly I am getting cabin fever now...grrrrr